Being badly hit by the economy, Valentine's Day just proved to be a memorable day for me after all.


After meeting up with my girlfriend, I planted a kiss on her lips and brought her over to my place. The sex can wait I told myself. It would be the icing on the cake.
First I decided to play it up a bit, to show her that I was indeed Mc' Lovin.

I asked her to close her eyes before bringing her into my crib. When she opened them, she saw candles that lit up that pitch-dark living room of mine.
I never did mention about the utilities bill that I had forgotten to pay 3 months back though.

Besides, at this point she was probably thinking of how sweet and romantic I was. And I wouldn't want to spoil it would I?
While she gasped in amazement with a jaw dropping expression on her face, I was thinking of just stuffing it in, like what mum used to do to that poor lil turkey on thanksgiving.

But no, I decided to control. Control. It's all in the mind. Besides the more you wait, the better it turns out right?

I let her sit on the floor. I told her that I was going for the picnic in the house theme. As long as you I both know that the furniture was auctioned off by the legal firm that came by earlier that morning, due to the late mortgage payment for the house; it's fine.

As she waited, I entered the kitchen to bring out the scrumptious meal that I had prepared specially for this grand occasion.

As we all know, when it comes to being romantic, the French are the ones who come out tops. So french cuisine would be best, and escargot de Bourgogne would be an ideal choice.
Why?
Well, the previous night there was a heavy downpour around my place and all those slimy fellas decided to come out. So well, the rest was history.
Somehow you see everything was falling into place. It was as if I had divine intervention.

I brought out 2 mugs that were stored in one of my kitchen cabinets. One stated "You're the Best Mom In The World", while the other stated "You're the Best Dad In the World." It wasn't exactly the kind of message I wanted to put across to her that night, but I hadn't any choice. Those were the mugs I was planning to give my parents ever since I was 16, but kept forgetting.
Seems like finally I had a use for them.

With 2 plates of escargot de Bourgogne on one hand, 2 mugs on the other and a bottle of freshly squeezed grape juice that seemingly had expired 2 years ago cupped under my armpit, I placed them on the floor. My waitering skills that I had picked up while working at a cafe, did come in useful after all. Lucky for me I didn't make a fool of myself by dropping them.

The moment she saw the French delicacy which I had prepared, the look on her face...oh my priceless. I didn't know what it meant. It was in between the 'you did this just for me?' and the 'holydickshit they're snails' look.
Being the guy who always looks on the bright side of life, I assumed she was impressed by my culinary skills and asked her to dig in without any hesitation.
Looking at me with a raised eyebrow, she gave me a 'huh?' look. Well, I didn't have an answer to that, so I carried on to taste my food to see if it could match up to Gordon Ramsay's Michelin standard. If you ask me, I think I was somewhere there.

She said she was full and left it untouched. I poured for both of us 'wine' (well if I did pay attention during science classes, then the fermentation of grape juice would result in wine; and a 2 year old wine would be just fine).
She took a sip, and was playing with it in her mouth just like any wine connoisseur would do, when suddenly she just spit it out on my face; unintentionally I suppose.

It was all turning out to be a nightmare, not exactly what I was expecting. I thought I would turn things around by giving her a card I made by myself with love and newspapers and sissors and glue of course.
She took hold of it, planted a kiss on my hand and opened it.

Here's a picture of it:

I had her speechless. I always did actually. Maybe it's the charm that switched itself on whenever it came to ladies. I knew I had it in me.
* (brushes dirt of my shoulders, Jay-z style)

What followed after that left me in tears. She threw the card out of the window, stood up came up to me and pulled me up.

Just then everything when into slow-mo. What I supposed to have been the swinging of her right arm, slowly landed on my cheek with her fingers beginning to stroke my cheek.
then her left hand swung up and grapped my other cheek. She was holding it just like how a lady with a martial arts background would be planning to headbutt someone. Her head was moving slowly forward, she bit her lips in a very fierce yet seductive way. As she got about 2 inches from my face, her lips landed on my lips, and she began kissing me with immense passion.

She definitely was unpredictable. Oh no wonder I loved her so much.

She tilted my head sideways and whispered into my ear "Mikey, you didn't have to do all this. I know you love me. I really do. I assume some things didn't actually go according to plan. But still, you made the effort to impress me. That was more than enough. Oh and I've got something to tell you my sugar coated honey bun."

"Well what is it my love?" I asked curiously.

With that glow in her eyes, she looked me in the eye and said, "Your wish came true, and I know we're going to be the best mummy and daddy to our kids."

"What the fuck? What wish? Since when? Gosh you got to be kidding right? Nice one honey, you had me there for a second."

"Honey what's wrong? You wanted to be a father right? You were planning to propose to me tonight, am I right?"


It was just about then, I began to pee in my pants.