1.5.09

MEXICO CITY, May 01 (JNN) - Health officials fear they may have discovered how the first case of swine flu arrived in Mexico, it emerged last night, as the number of confirmed cases in this country reached ninety-one.

The "probable" case of domestic transmission involves Miss Pigathius "Piggy" Lee and Kermit, the celebrity couple who became the first confirmed cases after arriving for their honeymoon in CancĂșn, Mexico, with the virus.

Tests on Miss Piggy found low levels of influenza A virus, and the samples were flown to the Muppet's Health Protection Agency's main laboratories at Muppet Land, Florida, for further testing to establish whether she had the flu.

The swine flu virus has killed up to 176 people in Mexico, the epicentre of the outbreak (or so the Americans claim), and the World Health Organisation has raised the official alert level to phase 5, the last step before a pandemic.

With latest news out that the couple had the virus way before entering Mexico, both the Mexican and American health officials are at each others throats as to who is to be blamed for the outbreak.

Her publicist recently confirmed that Miss Piggy was indeed one of those killed by the virus, together with 175 other people.

Upon reaching the ears of many Americans early today morning, many were shell shocked by the news. America's favourite puppet couple who stole the hearts of many, with their crazy on screen antics, can never be replaced; even if Kermit were to re-marry for the 10th time as he's known to be the male Elizabeth Rosemond Taylor of the Muppet world.

Rumours are suggesting that he was responsible for his wife's death, after intentionally injecting her with a new strain on influenza virus, when she was really being a swine by not wanting to have a quickie with him immediately after exchanging vows at their wedding ceremony. She then made her way to Cancun, Mexico for their honeymoon carrying the virus inside of her, which later proved to be fatal after their first night there.

Her husband Kermit is apparently on the run from authorities, despite pleas from world health officials urging him to seek medical help, as he might be carrying the flu which could further jeopardize the lives of those he comes into contact with. Anyone who sees him, is encouraged to bring him to the nearest amphibian vet for treatment, though it is very hard to find one.

He was last seen on a recent ad for Ford motors, which he decided to do it for free - due to the economic downturn America's experiencing currently.

To many, this might be a sign of relief because, people all over the world can finally know how they coined the term swine flu; instead of believing speculations that went around claiming that this particular flu only affected those who were a swine in other's lives, which obviously made everyone cringe at the thought of getting it.



2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hilarious!

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