It was an insanely hot Sunday. It was the 24th of May to be precise. I was about to book in back to camp, so I had to walk to the bus stop. That walk to the stop was probably the longest and most life-changing event that occurred in my live during that week. 

As I was walking, I noticed that the sun was dancing. Seriously. First it was doing the macherena  and then some Melbourne shuffle followed up by some other moves like the sunwalk(a similar variation of the moonwalk it's counterpart created). Obviously I didn't believe what my naked eyes were seeing, so I began to scrutinize it - which resulted in me frowning. Just then I realised my contacts were moving all around my eye and it wasn't just the sun that was dancing, basically everyone and everything were dancing too. Even the man on the traffic light was. Had a nice effect though, but it was hurting my eye. 

After making sure my contacts were alright, I continued on my journey of discovery. The clouds started turning reddish orange. I ain't shitting you. The sun looked as if it was going to erupt hot lava. I was wondering wtf was going on. The apocalypse was coming or so I thought. I began tapping the shoulders of those around me and asked them whether are they witnessing this apocalyptic event unfolding right in front of their eyes. Apparently, none of them could see it, and I was the only lucky motherfucker. This time I checked to make sure my contacts weren't fucking with me again. They were perfectly fine. I was actually seeing this alright. 

Out of nowhere, I heard a voice. Sounded more like a roar actually. It told me to go on bended knees. Luckily for me - as I would find out only later - I was on the sidewalk kneeling down and not on the road. 

The clouds began moving eastwards and westwards, parting in the middle, like as if it had something to reveal to me. Just then, I saw this thing. It had a platypus's head on a lion's body. It's legs were that of horses and were white in colour. On the center of it's forehead, it had a curly swirly sharp thingy that protruded out exactly like that of a unicorn's. This creature had wings of a butterfly too; attached to it's sides. It looked like some scientist decided to fuck creation up by creating some weird as creature and naming it fuckeduplofogus or something like that. 

But this creature was different. It has some kind of divine aura surrounding it. I knew for certain it wasn't from this world but most probably an escaped dick shit from Narnia or some place like that. I decided to see if this thing was going o talk at all. As if it could read my mind, at that very moment when I placed that imaginary full stop in my head, he began to talk. 

It said this," You were made to eat meat you mofo. What the fuck is wrong with you you manly thing? Did you go all vegan delights just so you could talk to girls and use it as a pick-up line? I'll minus off 100 man points from your man book which I now hold in my hands, if I find that it was indeed true."

I was dumbfounded.

"What you are seeing now is real. It isn't a figment of your imagination. So listen carefully you dick, you will eat meat from today onwards. And when I say meat, I mean all forms of fucking meat. Are you thinking of what I'm thinking? I bet you are, you man-beast. Heard me loud and clear? Good. I do not want you touching any green crap ever again. It's full of chlorophyll an it's bad for you. Don't believe what people say. They know shit. 

Don't waste my time of coming down to earth and setting things straight time and time again. You are my chosen messiah. You will be known as Man-Beast. 

I on the other hand, will forever be known as Anonymous. I'll be anywhere and everywhere. So go forth now and preach the good news. Here's a sacred text to help you with your preaching. 

To infinity and beyond."

Just like that it disappeared. And then a piece of paper landed right in front of me. To me it's shit. Anyway, here's a replica of it:

That my friends was what made me eat meat again.

From that day onwards I knew what my purpose in life was:

To eat all the fucking meat I set my eyes upon and convert those vegetarian dodos'.

MAN ZEN!